What The Bible Says About Modesty

I want to start by asking you a question. When did it become a bad thing to want to protect our brothers in Christ? When did it become unheard of or embarrassing to admit that sometimes we wear clothes we wouldn’t want our fathers to see us in? When did it become OK to walk around wearing as little as possible and write it off by claiming our bodies are our own to do whatever we want with it? When did we as Christian women think we had to give up our feminism in order to support modesty?

The word modesty can be so broad. To many it seems like another chore that is required of the Christian faith. That we must hide our bodies because they are something to be ashamed of. To others it is mocked; the idea that we should dress our bodies to prevent poor boys from stumbling is laughable, surely they can control their urges. To many a confusing term. A term that encompasses so many meanings that they are not sure where to begin, but without proper clarity it is too bothersome to consider dealing with. Maybe you also are unsure what the word modesty means and what God’s context for it is. I can’t claim to know the truth, but what I do know is that we as a society of Christian women need to educate ourselves about how our clothing affects those around us.

Modesty quote with woman in black dress as background

Yes, there are pigs out there. Men who will wolf whistle at you when you are bundled up in a winter coat, men who will make you feel uncomfortable when you are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and men who say you “asked for it.” These are not the men I am concerned about protecting. There will always be evil in the world and satan in the hearts of men.

We as women have convinced ourselves that all men are this way. That all men are disgusting perverts who perpetually want nothing more than to get in our pants, cop a feel, or undress us with their minds. But what about the good men out there. What about your sweet fourteen year old brother who can’t concentrate during a Victoria Secret’s commercial? What about your aging professor who accidentally gets a look down your low cut top as well? What about the great guy you are dating who is trying to not take advantage of you? What about them? What are you going to tell your children if you have sons? Are you going to tell them to just give over to their desires? Are you going to tell them to treat women like the objects we sometimes dress like? Of course not!

I used to be unaware of what modesty was, and frankly felt like I had enough trouble getting noticed by boys to stop donning my yoga pants. I mean what is a girl without a butt to do? Then I read a book that changed everything. It is called Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. The book takes you through the struggle the two men had separately with lust, and how they were able to overcome it with the Lord. These are good Christian men who loved their wives, but couldn’t quite stop their wandering vision.

I think as women because we are so relationship oriented, we believe that guys see the world and us through the same eyes. They do not. In the book they go into great detail to explain how men were made to receive sexual gratification through their eyes. A quote from the book says,

“ We aren’t picky. It can come in a photograph of a nude stranger, romantic interlude with the wife, or even a scantily clad women in your wife’s bathing suit catalog. Women seldom understand this because they aren’t sexually stimulated in the same way. For males, impurity of the eyes is sexual foreplay.”

There point is entirely correct. We don’t understand it because our sexual stimulation is through touch and relationship. To put in perspective, telling a man to stop being visually stimulated is like telling a woman to stop enjoying the intimacy of a man truly getting to know her, or to stop fantasizing about Mr. Right every time she watches a romantic comedy. I was shocked to discover in the book the great shame these men felt for their wives and family for accidentally seeing a women jogging in a sports bra and thus fantasizing about it later. They know we find this particular chemical makeup of their brain revolting, unforgivable, and disturbing.Boy in beanie hat sits on a sidewalk with modesty quote present

But the most important thing I took away from the book was that they can’t always control it. There are many ways for men to get better with their lust and visual desires, and I would encourage all men to be striving towards that, but there is nothing wrong or frowned upon about us doing our best to help those who are trying to help us. The men of the book pleaded with women to consider what they wear and try to help them out a little bit. They are trying to keep their eyes pure for their wives, and sometimes we unintentionally, while trying to impress others, can cause them to stumble.

So what can we as Christian women do about it? What does it mean to be a modest women in Christ? Now, I’m not about to tell you that you can never wear a bikini, yoga pants, a crop top, or shorts that aren’t 9 inches ever again. That would be hypocritical and unrealistic. I’m going to introduce a concept. Intentional Dressing.

Intentional Dressing is waking up every morning with the intent to dress to please the King, yourself, and your guy friends. We all have those articles of clothing we bought when we were feeling slightly risque, wanted to grab that certain guys’ attention, or to show off the weight we had worked so hard to lose. We all have the not quite too short from the right angle pair of shorts, spandex running pants that cling a little too generously, and shirt that is fine unless we lean the tiniest bit forward. We have worn certain clothes, dresses, and shirts to gain attention from the visual part of the male brain. As much as we hate that part of the brain, we still try our best to please it and feed it’s ever growing appetite.

So have we as women asked for it? Of course not! But have we encouraged it? I know I have. As a track athlete it’s pretty much impossible to find anything to run in that isn’t leggings or spandex. How can you wear those baggy shorts when everyone around you is wearing spandex and Sophie short shorts? You’re going to look nasty “face wise” at practice so at least you can take comfort in your butt looking good, right? Yes, we do need these things to run faster and to work out better outdoors, but what about the Sunday afternoons I’ve worn them just because they were “comfortable?”

As a 5’9 girl, I have always struggled every time I searched for shorts, a Homecoming dress, or skirt. The anticipation of seeing the dress fit perfectly at top only to realize it’s barely goes to the top of my thighs. I can definitely be a vain person, like all of us, and can admit to rolling those shorts up just a little bit or choosing a dress without my mother that was slightly shorter, but not short enough to be untoward. Haven’t we all done something like that?

“ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought a price.”

You were bought at a price. God created ever part of you lovingly and paid the ultimate sacrifice for your freedom. We aren’t our own. And even though feminists and those in society might try to convince us that we make our own decisions, we have a right to wear what we want, and we only have to worry about what makes us feel beautiful and happy, they are wrong. In the verse right above that privilege is very clearly taken from us.

Wouldn’t you agree that you can feel just as flattering and beautiful in a sack of rags if a boy told you so? Wouldn’t you agree that you can feel beautiful in something that fits you just right that hardly shows any skin? Wouldn’t you agree that sweat pants are actually a lot more comfortable than spandex? We can’t have it both ways. We can’t both not want men to objectify us and judge us solely on what we wear, but then dress provocatively to get the attention of that part of their brain we “detest.”

Sure you might say that you aren’t dressing for them, you are dressing for yourself. But are you being 100% with me? Are you going to claim that you never once reached for the short shirt because your crush was going to be at that party? Because I don’t believe you. I know it can be hard when you feel like you have to compete with so many girls out there to get attention, but I promise you the type of boys you have to reveal skin to grab their attention are not the right boys for you.

Let’s bring back modesty. Let’s bring back wooing boys with our personalities, charm, wit, and kindness. Let’s stop dressing like strippers and call girls and start dressing the way a princess of the greatest King who ever lives deserves to dress.

"Modestly dressed women complete with quote."

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what modesty will completely mean to you since everyone’s body is different, but I can give you some tips to figure it out.

1.Pray for wisdom. Trust me, if you begin to ask God to show you what things in your wardrobe you should get rid of to intentionally dress He will show you. The Holy Spirit will convict you.

2.Pray for your future husband. He is most likely facing every day surrounded by the temptation of pornography, incredibly graphic sexual scenes in movies, and scantily clad women starving for his attention everywhere he turns. He is trying his best to be good, and I’m sure he can use all the prayer he can get.

3.Be a light. A think a great way to be a witness to non-believers is to embrace modesty . To say no, I am not going to objectify myself by wearing the tightest thing I can find. I am not going to lower my standards in order to get a boy to look twice at me.

4.Clothe yourself in truth. Realize that there are good Christian men out there who would rather nourish you spiritually then take off your bra. Don’t let satan trap you into believing that it’s your fault and that you can do nothing to help them.

5.Practice Intentional Dressing day in and day out. Be honest with yourself and clothing choices. Yes, you can’t always help when men lust after you, but you can try your best to not intentionally encourage it.

If we expect men to become gentleman and treat us like ladies, we have to dress the part. Think about what you wear each day as a billboard for all to see and judge. Who would they say you’re advertising to?

Oh, Baby, You Should Go And Love Yourself

Let me ask you one question. When you first wake up and look at your face, naked of makeup in the mirror, what do you think? Do you remember all the names that kids have called you over the years? Do you remember the criticisms of a family member that started from a young age? Do you remember the boy who chose another over you? Do you love yourself?

We’ve all hated our reflections. I’m not sure when it all starts. It could’ve been as we breathlessly await for our first middle school dance and realize that our mother will be the only one telling us we look pretty that evening. It could’ve been when we were in high school and our once tiny bodies betrayed us and we began to develop curves. It could’ve been our freshman year of college when we struggled to find the balance between working out and buying a pizza every night with our hallmates.

My story is a little different than all those. You see I’ve always been what the media, the world, and my own family would consider thin. I have had the privilege of eating whatever I chose even up into my junior year of college due to my metabolism, and many would be surprised that I am writing an article about body self-esteem. What would she have to be self-conscious about?

I’ll tell you. I used to cry myself to sleep many a night because the boys in my high school chose to compare my body, one that many girls claim to envy, to a praying mantis. I felt so gawky and awkward so many times in high school with my tall frame that I cursed the God of the universe for daring to create me with long legs. I felt trapped in a body where I was both very proud of being thin but also upset when my guy friends discussed how no boys liked girls that didn’t have some junk in the trunk. Plainly, I felt like I could never win. Whatever your personal body image struggle has been we all know that no girl has it easy.

Genesis 1: 27 says, “ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him.”

So many times over the years in countless Sunday classes, purity retreats, and by our mothers, we have been told that we are made in the image of the Almighty God. But it’s hard to realize that when I wake up in the morning fresh with yet another pimple on my face.  Or how about the times that you have dedicated yourself to working out but still can’t seem to lose weight. Or the times you are sitting next to a flawless girl in one of your classes and your hair was not cooperating that day- Did she get an extra dose of God’s image or what?

We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the unrealistic standards painted on the Victoria Secret billboards. We need to stop comparing ourselves to the girls at our schools that all the boys seem to love. We need to stop standing in front of mirrors at the mall and cursing the reflection staring back at us.

Psalm 18:19 says, “ He brought me out of this spacious place, He rescued me because He delighted in me.”how to love yourself bible verse

Do you ever stop to ponder that sentence? God rescued you because He delighted in you? He looks upon your reflection each and every day and is captivated by your beauty. Yes, God did create the beautiful girls you compare yourself to on a daily basis, but He also formed them looked at the universe and thought something’s missing so He made one of you too. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and God of the universe who beholds all beauty and splendor looks at you and thinks you’re breathtaking.  You reflect God’s glory with your appearance each and every day because He formed you. No cruel boy, jealous friend, judgmental mother, or satan, can ever take that away from you.

But not only do we discourage ourselves when it comes to our bodies and reflections , we can also discourage others. We can get so caught up in our own insecurity that we start picking apart other girls as well. I can’t tell you how many of my high school friends felt bad about themselves and would call me a stick to make themselves feel better. It wasn’t until I came to college that I began to have friends who actually encouraged me in my appearance. Who would notice if I had new clothing and compliment it, would tell me I looked great some days for no reason, and would encourage me to buy dresses that showcased my legs. That was also the type of friend I was able to become. The type of friend who encourages their friends when they feel bloated and complain that they gained weight. The type of friend who isn’t competitive and can tell their friend they looked great before a formal or dance occasion. A friend who is secure enough in her own body image that she doesn’t need to jealously insult her friends.

As girls we need to realize that we all have these same struggles and insecurities and not let the enemy tempt us to hurt others in the same way we have been hurt. We are so insanely treasured and beautiful to our Father in heaven, but on days where we have circles under our eyes from late nights of studying, we haven’t done laundry in a while, and we regret eating a whole tub of ice cream the night before, we need to have those friends who remind us of God’s truth.

“ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well,” Psalm 139: 14.Bible verse

I know that we can say this verse until we are blue in the face, but it won’t take away the scars of that boy who called you ugly, the friend who told you your butt looked bigger, or all the times you cried yourself to sleep because you thought a boy would never love your reflection, but luckily I know someone who can help to heal those wounds. God. He was the only one who knows not only every thought you’ve had negatively about yourself, but been there with you every time that someone has given you even a twinge of criticism. He knows our hearts and minds and He wants to replace those lies that have taken over our mind with His truth.

So how can you start to do that?

  1. Read your bible every day. Learning God’s truth in every area of your life can help you recognize the lies the enemy feeds you in contradiction with God’s word.
  2. Pray it away. Whenever you find yourself feeling insecure or hating your reflection, say a quick prayer to the God who is always listening to help take those thoughts and feelings from your mind.
  3. Encourage your friends. If you say something enough it can be hard to not believe it yourself. For example, if you start praising your friends outer appearances based on God’s word, you are going to believe it applies to you as well.
  4. Realize everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Don’t hurt other girls to try to justify your own insecurities. We have all struggled with the same things, and we need to stop knocking down one another.
    So the next time you wake up look at your bed head and wonder who could ever love that reflection, stop and realize someone already did. And He loved it so much He even died for it.

The Beauty In Loving Yourself

bible verse about beauty

Unfortunately that is not the beauty lesson that many members of society today are preaching. They tell us that to be called beautiful we need to buy expensive makeup and cover our faces with it until we barely recognize ourselves. It tells us that if we aren’t a size zero we are fat and worthless. It tell us that if we don’t have a boy constantly telling us we are beautiful that means we aren’t. And we believe it. We buy the makeup, run the extra miles at the gym, and tell ourselves we don’t have boyfriends because we aren’t pretty enough for them.

God wants us to challenge society’s rules. Long before the world began God was busy writing a love story, one that involves you and me. He was busy planning every step we would take, every word we would speak, and every feature of our bodies. He crafted us together the way an artist labors over his or her work. God created us authentically; differently than anyone else in the whole world.He calls me beautiful one

I have definitely struggled a lot with understanding that God made me the way I do for a reason. Seventh grade was the year that I finally shot up to be 5’8 and I don’t think there was a time I hated myself more. I went from being an average height to suddenly being this massive giant. While all the other girls were stuffing their bras and praying for their periods, I was praying that I wouldn’t grow to be 6ft tall. This even continued when I entered high school. I was terrified to wear heels or even sandals with a tiny wedge.  I convinced myself if I was even a centimeter taller I would start hitting my head on the ceiling, or worse, people would actually realize I’m tall ( I was hoping it was a secret).

Then around my junior year I realized how stupid this was. I was sick of not wearing heels and crying because of my height. God had made me tall for a reason( hopefully one that involves a very tall boy), and without my height I wouldn’t be able to do so many of the things I was accustomed to. For example, I wouldn’t be as good of a runner and jumper for my sports, I certainly wouldn’t be able to wear some of the styles of clothes I enjoyed, and I would have to be one of those people who needed help reaching the top shelf.

Hating things about our bodies is only going to make ourselves miserable. No matter how much we cry, pout, and eat nothing is going to change the way we look. The only thing we can do is accept the things we hate about ourselves and learn to love them. I’m not saying this is an easy challenge. There are still plenty of days I wince at the thought of having to wear heels and be the tallest girl in the room.

But God alone is the one who can help us to accept how we look to Him. To Him we are the authentic creation He made with His own hands. Every morning when you get up and look in the mirror, every time you head into a fitting room, and every time you pick up that container of ice cream to help you feel better, ask God to show you the beauty He crafted inside of you. He is waiting to show you how lovely you are to Him. All you have to do is let Him in.

Elegance Isn’t Just For Audrey

Audrey Hepburn once said, “Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.”

I couldn’t agree with her more. As little girls we all love to dress up, have tea parties, and pretend to act like princesses commanding our kingdoms even if we only have our families as subjects. There’s a reason that even as small children we long for people to notice us because of the way we act, for having class. Haven’t you ever noticed that class is truly the one thing on this planet that can’t be bought, bargained for, or stolen? It’s a one of a kind quality for someone who is truly one of a kind. Audrey Hepburn photo

To me having an elegant air has 2 main parts:

1.It’s the way you dress. You don’t see elegant girls and women running around in crop tops or Daisy Dukes. They are always stylish while maintaining their modesty.

2 Timothy 2:9 says, “ Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.”

The truth is a lot of the respect we gain in the world today comes from what we wear. People will argue with that statement, but think about it. How many times a day do you catch yourself silently judging someone for wearing too short of a skirt or a shirt that shows a hint too much cleavage? I admit I do it much more often than I should. We are all human and as much as we try, we are all also judgmental. Don’t give people any more reason to knock you down. Be the girl who when people look at you say “Wow, I guess modesty really isn’t dead.”

2. It’s how you talk. I don’t know about you, but every single person I admire for having class or elegance does not have a potty mouth. You never hear about them gossiping extensively for hours with their friends (guilty!), or tearing other people down with their words for mere pleasure, or shouting swear words at random Canadians who cut them off in the outlets’ parking lot. Many people say that the Bible says nothing about swearing, but they would be wrong.

Ephesians 4:29 states, “ Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits for occasion, that it may give grace to hear.”

Sadly, as much as I love gossiping with my friends and even thinking a couple swear words when I’m frustrated about life, it is not grace for anyone ears, much less our Father’s. We need to use our words to lift people up, to encourage people who need it, and to love on the unlovable. Being a person who talks much more than the average, I definitely have struggled with being too blunt, for saying things I shouldn’t have behind people’s backs, and not learning when to keep my mouth closed. To me a girl who is nasty or says nasty words is like the deceptive part of beauty that Proverbs 31 talks about. Don’t you want your beauty to stand the test of time? God certainly does.

So why is this important to beauty? Because displaying the quality and confidence of elegance is just another way for the world to notice that we are different. When people notice we are different by acting in these positive ways it doesn’t just give us good attention, it gives God great attention. In the world today Christians are often given a bad rep as being too hypocritical, unloving, insincere, judgmental, etc. God doesn’t want us as His daughters to be known for these things. He wants people to look at us and admire us like we do Audrey Hepburn.cs lewis quote

The great C.S. Lewis once said, “ Don’t shine so that others can see you, shine so that through you others can see Him.”

We need to be positive advocates for God’s kingdom and that starts with getting class. This is one quality of beauty that if mastered will never fade and never be forgotten. Leave a legacy that is as unforgettable as the God who created you.

Would Someone Describe You As Brilliant?

You often hear the word brilliant used to describe gifted doctors, amazing business people, the size of the ring you want your future husband to buy you, etc, etc. The word brilliant is not one you hear carelessly tossed around like high school girls on Instagram calling another one of their friend’s pretty. It’s a special word reserved more often than not for special people. It’s tough to get up in the morning look in the mirror and think you’re right, I really am brilliant God. That’s why I’m going to my minimum wage job, because I’m so brilliant.

The definition of the word brilliant is having an exceptional talent or intelligence. I can honestly say I almost laughed when I read that definition to myself. Because I’m pretty sure the only exceptional talent I have is the number of times I can manage to fall down when walking across a flat surface. And as for intelligence,  I attend Grove City College, where people are constantly telling me their incredibly high SAT scores. This means I don’t normally spend my days feeling like I’m the smartest person in the room.

The crazy thing is part of the essential makeup that makes me who I am includes the brilliance that God placed in me.  I know that He alone created me to do specific things that not everyone can do. In 1 Corinthians 12:4 it says,

“ There are all kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in men.”  spiritual gifts quote

To put it plainly, God gave us all different kinds of gifts that we alone specifically can use.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to feel like you’re exceptional when you’ve had a hard day at work where everything that could’ve went wrong did, or when you scrolling online and notice that you once again were excluded from an outing with the people who are supposed to be your friends, but you are.

And guess what? God, the sovereign Lord of all things, handpicked and equipped you to help Him further His kingdom. He can use us even when we think we have sinned too much, failed too much, or are just not brilliant enough to handle what He has asked of us. It doesn’t even have to be something that seems like a brilliant task. It can be as simple as complimenting a lonely looking girl or putting your best effort into that presentation in the class you hate.

But we can’t help our Father out if we are too busy beating ourselves up. So what does that look like in everyday life?

  1. Pray. Pray to God that He will help you to see yourself as brilliant like He does. Pray that He will help reveal to you what your talents are and how He wants you to use them.
  2. Stop doubting. There are so many examples in scripture of God providing us with gifts. Believe that He has something great in store for you.
  3. When you wake up in the morning and look at your makeupless, sleepy eyed self in the mirror, instead of immediately going for those toxic thoughts, practice saying, “I’m a brilliant creation of God.” The more you say it, the more God will help you to believe it.

The first part of you embracing the beauty that God has uniquely created inside of you is believing you are exceptional, brilliant. No matter what society, boys, and petty girls tell you, the God of the universe thinks you’re a treasure of creation that can only be described by using a special word like brilliant. Let His opinion of you be the one that counts.

B.E.A.U.T.Y.

Beauty. It’s something all girls struggle to possess and all girls want to be called. To be called beautiful, to be lovely, to be enchanting, to be wanted. That is our heart’s desire.

In today’s society beauty is something that has become warped by starving models on magazine covers and Victoria Secret ads where the girls hardly wear any clothing. But to God beauty is so much more. To him it is not something we have to try to grasp at, it is something we are born possessing,  something that is already inside of us.

The definition of beauty according to the dictionary at least, is a quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind. Even according to the dictionary, beauty is so much deeper than a face that was perfectly created with a make-up palette. Because beauty is more than skin deep. To be called beautiful is not simply to be gorgeous on the outside, but to be gorgeous on the inside as well. I think that God is calling all of us to a higher standard of beauty than is evident in today’s heavily backwards society. Our beauty is the most precious gift God has given us, and to waste our short lives on earth being insecure about our looks was never the way God intended us to live. beauty quote

Every time you look in the mirror and hate your reflection, every time you skip dessert because you think it will help you get a boyfriend, every time you wake up and your face is covered in acne, every time you stare enviously at another girl because you wish you looked like her, you’re breaking God’s heart. He created us, He wanted us, He thinks we are beautiful. To think we waste our time believing the lies that we are not is one of the saddest things in the world. God is the single creator of the universe and to judge our worth not by Him, but by what the nasty girls at our schools think of us or by what the ignorant boys call us behind our backs, is backwards. We have to stop believing the lies and start believing God’s truths.

I think that beauty can be summed up in six acronyms.  BEAUTY or trying to convince girls that they are Brilliant. Elegant. Authentic. Understood. Taken. Yielding.

So great ready to explore this series with me. Get ready to love yourself and discover the beauty God has already placed inside of you.

What It Looks Like To Embrace Your Beautiful Self

Mornings are not kind to us as women. The minute we wake up we instantly have to go to the bathroom and look at ourselves without any makeup on.  Inevitably we all think, “Wow, I look like crap.” Yet shouldn’t we be above this? The minute we are taught that we are made in God’s glorious image shouldn’t a light bulb just flick on? Shouldn’t we have this incredible enlightened experience where we realize just how beautiful we are and never doubt it again? Well, if that is the case, I must’ve missed the memo.

One of the saddest ways that society has affected our generation with today would be insecurity. Hundreds of teenage girls everywhere are affected by eating disorders, major body image issues, and hating the reflection that stares back at them in the mirror. Yet I want to challenge that.

Psalm 139 states very clearly, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful and I know that full well.”37151bad636de668bd6b0b79e9a6a7e5

We can hear that verse a million times and still not believe it. The truth is, God did make us exactly the way we are. And every time that we pick ourselves apart in the mirror is insulting to His brilliant creation.

Satan knows full well how we as teenage girls are susceptible to these particular insecurities. He can use these lies on us to make us believe that we just need to lose a little weight to feel happy, or that the next color we dye our hair will finally make us feel beautiful. But his lies are just that, untruths that we waste our time and energy believing.
Those of you that know me, know that I am very tall for a girl. I stand 5’8 and ¾ inches (yes when you’re tall you tend to be exact) tall and I am proud that, but I didn’t use to be. I used to hate my height. It felt like it was this awful curse that I was doomed to deal with until I died or married someone who was 6’6’ (neither have happened). Then one day I just decided enough was enough. I was sick of not wearing heels because I didn’t want to be any taller, sick of slouching around everyone, and just sick of tearing myself down over something I had no control over. It didn’t happen overnight, but after lots of prayer and soaking in the truth of God’s word, I learned to embrace my height.It made me realize that hating things about ourselves and praying that we look like someone else is like rejecting a gift that someone had taken great care to get for us.

“You are altogether lovely my darling; there is no fault in you.”- Songs of Solomon 4:7

Isn’t it crazy to realize that the God that sculpted the mountains, who placed the stars in the sky, who makes gorgeous sunsets, also created you? I believe that every day God’s heart is breaking over the girls He sees crying because they feel like they are ugly. But God didn’t create us to feel insecure, to compare ourselves to others, and to hate being in our own skin. No.  God made us for a great purpose and with great purpose in mind.  So the next time you’re staring in the mirror hoping you can mentally fix one of your imperfections, I hope you’ll stop and remember that God doesn’t make mistakes, not ever.

To Him you are His beautiful daughter that looks just like Him.

Who Says Your Bikini Has to Be Isty Bitsy??

It’s that dreaded time of year once again, bathing suit season. During the summer many of us want to go lie by the pool and maybe have a cute waiter bring us a drink with an umbrella in it. All joking aside, I feel like this is a subject the Christian community is fairly divided about. On the one hand people argue that girls should wear one pieces to be more modest and not draw attention. But hey, I’m a teenage girl, and honestly wearing a one piece literally makes me feel like I’m suffocating my stomach. Face it, every girl likes wearing a bikini because we feel like guys don’t really notice us in one pieces. There really is nothing better than getting checked out by a cute boy on the beach. Talk about a shot of confidence.

The truth is, however, the Bible doesn’t really say anything about the types of swim suits a girl should wear. It does, however, talk about modesty, which is part of the essential makeup I feel that all truly Christian women should possess.

1 Timothy 2: 9 says ” Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control. “

So I began to do more research on one piece bathing suits. The problem teenage girls run into today when looking for one pieces is that there just aren’t a ton of great options. Unless you want to look like an Olympic swimmer or your grandmother, you’re pretty out of luck.

Then I stumbled upon Jessica Rey’s Swimwear. Jessica Rey is an amazing woman who believes that one pieces are the way to go. She was so fed up trying to find an attractive one piece that she decided to create her own. I’m going to post the link to her website below and I encourage you to check it out. Jessica is also very outspoken about modesty.

Jessica recently spoke at a conference I found on Youtube, where she talked about her controversial opinion on choosing to show less skin. She mentions a poll where Princeton college males had their brains scanned when they were shown a number of images. When the males were shown pictures of scantily clad women, the part of the brain associated with power tolls lit up. However, many men showed zero activity in the medial prefrontal cortex of the brain, or the part of the brain where one thinks of another’s thoughts and intentions, when shown those images. When this information was revealed to a college professor, he commented saying, ” They are responding to these pictures as if they were objects.” I don’t know about you but I definitely do not want a guy to view me as an “object.”

So on the one hand I feel that yes, it would be more modest to wear a one piece, but on the other hand just because you are showing more skin in a bikini doesn’t make it immodest, necessarily. The problem with bikinis today is that so many of them are literally colorful scraps of fabric that don’t really cover all the areas they should. At the end of the day, we all just need a bathing suit that isn’t going to fall off when we go running into the ocean. Nothing is more distracting when you are trying to enjoy your time in the water than constantly checking to make sure you haven’t flashed your cousins or brother.

That is why when shopping for a bathing suit one needs to always, always, always try it on. Here are some things I always like to check before purchasing a bikini.

  1. Is it properly covering the three B’s? Boobs, butt, and back. If you feel like you are showing too much in the dressing room, you will definitely be showing too much at the beach.
  2. What would my dad or pastor think if he saw me in this suit? It might be an awkward question to ask yourself, but you need to realize that you aren’t just going to be getting young male attention with what you wear. Would you be comfortable showing this amount of skin around someone you respect?
  3. What is my goal for wearing this swimsuit? Does it make me feel great about myself and will be easy to swim in, or are you thinking more about the reaction of your crush?
  4. Don’t go for the skimpy. Go for the suit you can actually swim in.

It all comes down to our intentions behind the reason we are choosing to where bikinis. Are we seeking a comfortable suit or the attention that suit can bring us from guys? Are we seeking to honor God with our bodies or are we trying to exploit them? Modesty is always a tricky subject, but by exploring God’s word and asking Him to give you wisdom, it doesn’t have to be. He will convict you.

So the next time you head to the pool this summer, think twice before bearing it all. You might be surprised by the attention you get for covering up. 

https://www.jessicarey.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJVHRJbgLz8